Condemnation & guilt.
[Risk No. ZERO] I've tried diligently to be honest and transparent with myself when I don't risk. And there are clear and obvious times when I don't. It might be easy at this point to read through the many posts where God enabled me by grace to step out of myself and into Him, but please know I still am struggling (growing?) along. Be encouraged! On this certain night I found myself running errands with the kids. I was so excited post-travel and all that I experienced Jesus do. I looked forward to love and bless some people right here in Nashville. Nothing this night turned out the way I expected. I literally turned multiple opportunities to risk down and chose to play safe. I came home so discouraged, full of condemnation and guilt - especially that I hadn't modeled Jesus well for my own children, in my own city. At one point there was a man in a wheelchair that I literally avoided. I feel embarrassed even sharing this, but I know who I am in Jesus and I know that avoiding people is not who He's made me to be. On this night, I wasn't feeling very Jesus-esque. Thankfully it's not about feelings.
God has since picked my heart up and set me back on a His path. He always does.
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9